Tag Archives: #dreams

I Usually Don’t Kiss and Tell…

Now that the smooch is out the bag, many have asked what it was like shooting my first commercial…

Back in November I walked into my casting ready to give a few pecks to some man unknown.  A little nervous to be kissing a stranger without liquid courage, (judge yourself, not me) I surveyed the room filled with beautiful people–both men and women.

So here I am sitting in a chair while on Pinterest looking up recipes — this is my thing I do in public to calm my nerves– and in walks this tall, milk chocolate specimen whose lips looked freshly exfoliated, and my insides are all like:

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“Oh, there’s your boo!” a spunky, feminine voice to my right blurts. And yet I asked, “who–me?” with my hand to my chest, my temperature began to rise. He and I made eye contact and I smirked. Oh no, butterflies fluttered inside my belly. I’m like, holy crap I have to get myself together quickly! My eyes fall back to my screen, reviewing ingredients needed to make some “30 minute vegan meal” that I’m certain I mastered like 3 years ago. Continue reading I Usually Don’t Kiss and Tell…

Hashtag: New Year Evolved Me

How am I transitioning into 2018?

Pretty darn well I’d say!  As I sat in the house on Sunday, December 31, 2017 contemplating whether I’d switch up my  New Year’s Eve ritual and go out for a night on the town, or do what I know best and stay in, I soon was in a back-and-forth rebuttal with my aunt for some nightly festivities. Here’s the thing, I don’t do long lines and cold weather well. So while she was trying to sway me her way, I could only think about my freezing limbs and said NOPE!

Funny enough, the two of us played this extended game of “lets go out/lets stay in” for nearly two hours (even switched roles for a bit, lol!)

So what did we do? I finally joined #teamporscha and agreed to get cute for a night out. The thing is, after we’d found plans, got dressed, and were ready to go–we both had changed our minds back to my original idea. So like I’ve done for the past decade (or literally all my life) I brought in the new year indoors with a loved one.  I’m not much of a party-goer (anymore) so staying in for holiday’s doesn’t really bother me.

While inside relaxing, I started to manifest my immediate goals for the new year. Asking myself what I wanted out of 2018. All of my goals are intended to make me a better me, as goals should do.

Yes, I have physical goals I set (like last year’s pushup goal I didn’t meet…but I’ll get to it in 2018) and emotional goals, and career goals. All of which I intend to fulfill to live my B E S T L I F E.

This year I’m working on forgiving myself. I’ve talked about forgiveness for those who’ve hurt me many a time and how I’d moved past the pain. What I didn’t realize was that I didn’t forgive myself for the circumstances I had put myself in.

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At my last coffee date with my girls, we were catching up on life: grad school, therapy,  new living situations, relationships, general ups  and downs. Through her story, my sister-friend was discussing her journey with forgiving herself and my brain was like holy hell! I started replaying every “regret” or triggering situation I had been in and asked myself why it was still something that could set me off. It was because I hadn’t forgiven myself.

Without even realizing it, I had still been living in the past,emotionally, and telling myself that mentally I was over it and was fine. And it was convincing for the most part, because I had told myself if I don’t think about it, I won’t get angry about it. But the honest truth is that real healing and forgiveness will allow me to think about a situation that I’d allegedly grown past, and not let it affect me. And that wasn’t happening.

So much so that the thought of certain memories literally caused a physical disruption. As cliche as it sounds, I’m leaving attachments and regrets in 2017. I’m leaving the fallacy  that I own the rights to others: meaning that I’m working on understanding the only persona I control is self.

I’ve shared that my favorite tattoo is probably my ‘agape’ one that’s on my finger. With that in mind, I’ve transitioned into 2018 revisiting my sole reason for getting that specific tattoo in the first place. I yearn to love unconditionally, and with the right tribe around me I’ve been able to learn so much about unconditional love. I’m happy that I have friends who unashamedly share themselves with me, the good, the bad, the stank, the ugly.

They’ve helped me know love–romantic and platonic– through themselves.


A few other things I’m working on in 2018:

  • Reading 1 book a month (already completed January’s read:  James Baldwin’s The Fire Next Time)
  • Working out 4x/ week (a flat stomach is fine and dandy but I’m coming for definition in 2018!!)
  • Painting more
  • A second fitness certification (did you know I’m a certified Zumba instructor?)
  • Traveling of course (Austin, Dallas, Portland, Maryland, Philly are at the top of my list)
  • Publishing more books (simultaneously working on a few 😅)

Obviously these aren’t all my goals of the year, but some I thought you’d be interested in! What are you working on this year?

 

Dear Denver: You Did Me Well

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I recently talked about my new found love for hiking. I know, it’s just extended walking–usually at an incline– however, its a great workout and brings peace of mind. I’ve always loved nature and outdoors. I collected rocks for crying out loud! In fact, growing up, I’d always rush outside every chance I got. I made it an effort to finish my homework in class so that I wouldn’t have to do it when I got home.

As I make my way to reconnecting with the earth and outdoors, I’m increasing my time spent in nature. While #adulting I find myself forgetting to just breathe in the air outside and to relax in the grass. If I’m being honest, a rotating schedule of being busy with work, exercising, and dreams is cool… but many times I feel more successful on a day where I’ve done the least.

Like, had coffee and walked barefoot in the grass (aka #earthing). That’s all, that’s it!

Embarrassingly enough, many times I have to plan my R&R time because I think that I always have to be “busy”. So if I can visually see in my planner that I’ve told myself to chill, I chill. That’s why I enjoy traveling. Weekend trips are nice getaways from everyday life. Each year I plan at least three trips, one to a new city for personal exploration and the others to visit family/friends.

As you know, my birthday was earlier this month. And, I’m technically a little late celebrating. Wait, who am I kidding? I celebrate all month long, but my only wish was to go to Denver and hike a mountain.

And so I did.

Continue reading Dear Denver: You Did Me Well

What I Learned While Brunchin’ With Jas’

I loooveeeeeee free things! Free coffee, free meals, free concert tickets–you name it! So when Jasmine Diane announced one last giveaway to Brunchin’ with Jas I instantly became geeked.

So, why did I desire to attend the fall Brunchin with Jas? Isn’t it obvious? I saw this brunch as an opportunity to network with like-minded individuals. I had spent a little time reading testimonies of past attendees and seeing photos of the brunches online which is why I told myself I had to experience it firsthand.

I thought that actually being there would help me connect with new people. To be quite honest, networking is a challenge sometimes because breaking the ice is kinda awkward for me. Still, I knew attending Brunchin’ with Jas would provide a sense of security that myself and others can benefit from.

And, I was right. The fall brunch was nothing shy of enjoyable. Collectively the attendees and panelists were friendly, adorably stylish, and super encouraging. I literally was welcomed with many smiles upon entering the room.

Continue reading What I Learned While Brunchin’ With Jas’